RESOURCES

Cohabitation Checklist

If you and your spouse are considering cohabitation during a legal separation or divorce, below is a checklist to help give you an idea of what "Separation Under the Same Roof" entails.

Establishment and maintenance of intent to separate permanently or indefinitely.
Separate bedrooms.
No romantic or sexual intimacy.
Stop wearing wedding rings.
Each spouse shops for own food, prepares own meals; neither shops for the other as to any categories of items (clothing other necessities, etc.)
Do not use the other spouse's food or other purchases.
Do not eat meals together (exception: holidays or children's birthdays).
Each spouse is responsible for caring for his or her own space within the home, such as bedroom.
Each does own laundry.
Establish separate checking accounts.
Cease socializing (e.g., do not attend parties, movies, theater, etc., together).
Do not attend church together.
Where there are minor children, interact a parents only where strictly necessary from the children's perspective and their well-being; e.g., it would be acceptable for the parents to go together to a meeting with a school official relative to problems confronting a particular child, but less appropriate for the parents to ride together and sit together at a child's school play or soccer game.
Cease gift-giving between spouses for such occasions as birthdays, Christmas, anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.
Make known to close associates, relatives, etc., that the parties are martially separated within the residence, though continuing to reside under the same roof.
Have a third party come to the home from time to time to personally observe the two spouses' separate and distinct living quarters (bedrooms, bathrooms, etc.).
Utilize separate entrances to residence if feasible.
Be prepared to explain reason(s) for effecting separation under same roof (e.g., financial considerations; unavailability of successor residence,; to ease children's transition to parental separation; etc.).